The Writer’s Wheel 5/10/2020 Loleta Abi

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The Writer’s Wheel 5/10/2020: Blessings in Disguise

Loleta Abi

Maybe we’ve been looking at this shelter-at-home in the wrong way. Maybe it’s actually been a blessing in disguise for each of us. Hold on with your outrage for a moment and consider why:

Families That Had Grown Apart Were Reunited.

In any day, that’s a win in my book. Relationships that might’ve been strained in the past turned back around and brought others back together. I’m not saying if the person’s been abusive or neglectful to get back into a relationship with them. I’d be the last to suggest that. What I’m saying is that sometimes we let pride get the best of us. Anger to grow strong in our hearts and plant roots so deep they can’t be torn out without an effort.

Maybe, we honestly never talked to that side of the family for some reason. We might have considered them stuck up or distant. They might have made us feel awkward or unsure of ourselves. Striking up that conversation, even online could break the ice. Get us back on that common ground. Heal the rifts. Don’t let family go unless there’s an absolutely sound reason for doing so.

Friendships Have Been Repaired.

Same here. Time and distance could’ve weighed on each of you. Kept you from speaking to one another. Marriage and kids could’ve pulled you in different directions. We sometimes lose track of each other in the day-to-day life of work, raising a family, doing our own things. Those you knew in school and were besties with might have stopped calling, stopped writing, stopped seeking you out. At first, you may be so busy you don’t miss them and then one day you turn around and wonder: when did they leave my life?

It also may be a case that you both turned down different roads. You don’t know each other anymore. Not really. Life has come between you. Don’t let that stop you from reaching out. Go to that high school virtual reunion. Look up someone’s number. Give them a call. It only takes moments to start repairs on bridges that go damaged along the way.

Neighbors Could Reach Out to One Another Again.

Were you involved in a snafu with a neighbor in the past that kept you from talking to each other? Has the old neighbor moved on and new ones moved in that you’re sure you have nothing in common with? Did you two dispute the boundaries of your lands? Argue over an eye-sore to one of you? Maybe now’s the time to reach out to one another and try again.

Start with a wave or a hello. Gradually, using social distancing, of course, strike up a conversation with them again. Do them a favor. Cut that eye-sore down. What does it benefit you to keep an old feud going? It could be time to bury the hatchet and begin anew. Life is short. Don’t end it in bitterness.

Grown Children.

You spoke ill words to each other upon parting years ago. No time like the present to apologize and move on. Again, unless there’s something more going on here, like abuse etc. Didn’t you wonder how their life turned out? If they had children? A spouse? And in turn, don’t you grown children wonder how your mother or father is doing now? What happened to them? Are they okay? Are they ill? Do they need a helping hand?

Don’t let bitter words curdle your world. Reach out. Be the bigger person. If it doesn’t work out, you tried. Just remember, it might take a while for the anger, the betrayal to fade. Give it time. Try not to be who you were but who you are now. You have forgiveness in you. Perhaps even regret. Now’s the time to find out if you can turn over a new leaf.

Younger Children.

How are you doing schooling your child? Probably better than you give yourself credit for. Don’t worry. You won’t mess them up or ruin their future. Everyone progresses on a different level. That includes teachers or moms and dads. Spending time with them during this break might have brought you all closer. Maybe it even saved your relationships. Kids like to feel needed, loved. Part of the family. Surely, this time together has done that.

As you’ve had to readjust yourselves to each other, you’ve both grown. You’ve survived a deadly time together. It will be this time that forms the most important base of your relationships. Did they see you cry? You’re human. That can be both frightening and a relief to a child to know that sometimes adults fear things too. They also saw you hope and dream again for a better future. Yes, things have changed. But the core remains: your family.

Spouse.

This time together will either make you stronger or break you. I’m hoping the former. Couples might’ve had to forego their “date” night but maybe the nights before the fireplace or with the lights down low and candles gently flicking in the background, you’ve rediscovered your partner in a new way. They might’ve been the rock that pulled you through. The anchor that holds your family together.

Isn’t that what you hoped for when you first were starting out? Someone to pull you alongside them in life together. To share the burden. To challenge each other in a good way. Bringing hope into each of your lives. Forget the world just a moment and remember. This was what you pledged to each other in your vows. This is what brought you down the aisle. The hope. The expectations. The promise to be there for each other.

Boyfriend/girlfriend.

This could’ve been a tough time for each of you. Being kept apart. Only calling or texting. This is a test of how you two feel about each other. If you’ll go the distance. Don’t give up. Don’t say it’s too hard. Things can work out if you both put your heart into it. Keep trying. Keep communicating. That’s how you build a good, solid relationship. The key is to be honest with one another. Now, I know there’s some things that you just can’t say to another. If we were completely honest (and I’m not giving you permission to sneak around on one another here) about all things, there’d be trouble. Learn when to hold your tongue. And when to speak. You both know what you want and don’t want in a relationship. Hold firm.

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